Why the last man standing?

Some of you who read this may know who I am, others may not. My name will not be used for reasons you will know shortly. I am the last man standing, tho I do not stand on my own. I used to be suicidal. Tried 4 times to end my life. I was part of a suicide pact. As of this last semester the other three guys have ended their lives. Any psychologist would tell you that any one in my situation with my past would've cracked and given in and killed himself by now. So what gives? As I said before, I do not stand on my own, I am held up by my Savior, Jesus Christ. He died in my place, my debt to the pact has been paid. So know I live, wholeheartedly for the one who died in my place, figuratively and yet literally as well. So, as I stand, I encourage you to stand also.

I remember a few years realizing how many churches have been making a huge mistake without even realizing it. So many real issues are never talked about because they can be "socially awkward". Well when a 17 yr old girl gets raped, and cant tell her parents, and certainly cant tell anyone in the church, the only place left to turn is the worlds philosophy, that will tell her she is inherently good, and that a "good God" would never allow something that horrible to happen to one of his "children".... It makes so much sense why teens for one have the highest rate of suicide in this generation then any other. Teenagers in this generation have more abortions than any other point in history as well. and the numbers are seldom different in Christian circles compared to secular ones. Yes we as Christians have the hope, but to many times, I hide my hope, because is hurts. The reason for my hope is so deeply tried to my past failures and struggles, that it becomes easier to that it becomes easier to hide my hope then to open up one more painful time, and show the passion that I have for hurting people because of what I have gone through. How come God spared me? I entered into a suicide pact because I had had a bad day at school, and three friends had also. All three have committed suicide. I have not. I will not. I am the last one standing. Yet there are days when I stand and there are days when I fall back only to be propped up by the cross, to have my Savior grab me by the hand in front of the Accuser and tell him that he died in my place. Praise God! In the Roman judicial system the Judge sat btwn 2 men, one on his left, the other on his right. The one on the left was the accuser (prosecution), the one on the Right handed out the appeals. Praise the Lord that My Savior stands on the right side of God on his throne. I have been pardoned. Praise the Lord!